What is the best way to cope with chronic illness? Don’t dig your head in the sand!
It is normal to want to pretend that this whole diagnosis is a mistake, however, pretending that you do not have a chronic illness is not going to help and, in fact, may make your situation worse. This “pretending this isn’t happening” or denial can cause you to delay receiving the treatment that you need or prevent you from making life changes that are required to maintain or improve your health. The sooner you are able to face your diagnosis the easier it will become.
Find Support!
Individuals who do best with adjusting to their illness reach out for support and are actively involved in their own care. Some people find enough support from the people in their doctors’ offices. Some people find it helpful to find a disease specific support group or education focused group that is specifically on your illness. Others find going to a therapist is really the best thing for them – someone to help them manage all of their feelings around living with a new illness and the uncertainty of what may come.
How to Regain Control of Your Life
Many people feel out of control when given a new medical diagnosis, especially one that requires a lot of medical interventions and an uncertain outcome. Many find getting some of this control back can really help in adjusting to their new normal. Below are the first steps to taking control of your illness:
Learn about your disease and ask questions.
There is no such thing as asking too many questions. To be as organized as possible during your appointments, keep a journal or notebook with all of your questions to bring to your medical appointments. Use this same book to write down the answers and instructions they give you and then share the information with your caregiver(s).
Ask for a mentor when possible.
Some individuals find it very helpful to have another person to reach out to when they are feeling afraid, have a question about how something feels, or just want to increase their quality of resources. Mentors who have struggled with the same illness and treatment decisions are often able to assist patients in a way medical providers can’t. They are often able to guide and inspire in a way family, friends, and physicians often cannot because they have been in your shoes already.
Control what you can.
Many of us get caught up trying to control all sorts of things we can’t control. This only leads to frustration and disappointment and, often, feelings that prevent us from doing what we are really supposed to do: taking care of ourselves. This is a good time to focus on what you CAN control. Eat healthy, take medications as prescribed, keep your appointments, stay active and surround yourself with the people you love.
How can therapy help?
When faced with a life-threatening illness, the extra support of therapy can really be beneficial. It can help you come up with a strategy for how you want to tackle the decisions ahead as well as give you a safe place to express your fears and anger without feeling like you are burdening someone else. A therapist can also help you to manage your own feelings about what the future may look like now with this diagnosis and how you want to balance the changes this illness may bring to your life.
Aimée Muth, LCSW is a therapist practicing in Old Greenwich. For more information, go to: www.aimeemuthlcsw.com